Her Secret Corner… Spanking Erotica

I love this picture…

The all important hand on the small of the back and a formidable-looking implement all but screams domestic discipline to me.

So many scenarios as to why she’s in trouble…

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trust.  I had an unfortunate experience a few weeks ago, a situation most guys won’t get, but the women will.

I trusted a (now ex) friend to cut my hair.  She’d cut it before and truthfully, it looked better than it had in years.  But she kept hounding me that it needed more taken off.

It was damaged, but great hair is not one of the gifts I was given, and I made up my mind long ago that I’d rather have long damaged hair over short healthy hair.

It’s only been short twice in my life– in junior high and right after the break up of my engagement.  (I walked into a salon one night and said, “Cut it.  All of it.”   An impulse decision I regretted for over two years.)   I simply hate the way I look with short hair– something I shared with the (now) previous friend.

I’m sure it’s not hard to see where this is going.  Suffice it to say, my hair was below my bra strap.  It now barely touches my collar.

I can hear the guys out there:   Its hair, it will grow back…

Yes.  It is only hair.  But for women, our hair is quite often tied into how we feel about our femininity, self-confidence, even sensuality.

I keep looking in the mirror and thinking, “This is so not me.”

But the real issue here is trust.  I trusted her– my friend– to respect my boundaries.  She totally crossed the line– did what she wanted to do, knowing full well how upset I’d be.

In my last post I was candid about the emotional growth spurt I’ve been going through.  Some of the things I’ve admitted to myself are frightening.

Admitting that I want to hand over control to a man scares me.  Not enough to keep me from doing it, should the right guy ever arrive.  But I realize how emotionally fragile I am, and how damaging it could be, if my trust is given incorrectly.

I know that in the type of relationship I desire, boundary lines will be crossed on occasion.  It’s just not realistic to expect otherwise.  Even the greatest guy in existence is still human.  So trust will be broken at some point– it’s a given.

But there is a difference between misguided and deliberate intent.

Part of the issue (I think) is how hard it is to be honest about some of these things.  It’s difficult to be straight out and direct.  I’ve been considering what is okay, and what is not okay.  Everyone in this lifestyle has different desires and different levels of kink.

But the physical really is only part if it.  I think the mental aspect worries me more.  Because in the wrong hands, the damage could be permanent.  Not in the sense of leaving me crushed or broken– I’m stronger than that.  More in the sense of leaving me never wanting to try again, and therefore living a life unfulfilled.

On the flip side…  The mental aspect excites me greatly.  I find myself  wanting to play.  Having finally faced up to what I want, and what’s been missing, I find the anticipation almost overwhelming.

I want to explore.  And I want to be taught.   I want to give a man permission to spank me to tears, and him to be strong enough to carry through.  And man enough to comfort me afterward.

I need the release.  I need the emotional connection.  I need to “belong”.

I need to give my trust, because trust forms the bond.  And the bond is what I’m longing for.