Male Vs. Female?
November 17, 2009
I’m wondering about the differences in head-space, between male and female submissives.
I think the majority of people reading here are female subsmissives and male dominates. But there are a lot of straight men out there wanting to be spanked.
Not my thing. But still, I wonder what drives these guys.
Most women want spanking in their lives for specific reasons. There are some that simply find it a turn-on. Bedroom games are all they’re after. But most have deeper reasons driving them.
I’ve read extensively on various forums, and the majority of ladies involved in DD relationships submit for the feeling of security it offers. They feel protected, and although some might argue its an odd dichotomy, they feel cared for. For some, it is the only time they feel they have their husbands undivided attention. It makes them feel they are a priority.
For some women, the feeling of helplessness makes them feel feminine. Others like feeling their husband is in control.
So what is it for a guy?
Is it simply pressure release? Do men need to give up control at times, too?
I’ve always thought it had something to do with being high-powered, and needing to throw off that power, however briefly.
It would be interesting to hear what others have to say on this…
November 17, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I’d only say I was about two-thirds straight, so I probably don’t count. And about two-thirds dominant, but they really don’t coincide at all.
I don’t really like interpreting either spanking or sex as being about power. That’s always struck me as a very feminine reading of it all. But it isn’t just some game of you’re-going-to-make-me-cum. It is about making some sort of deeper connection (and as such it’s a side that really only comes up with people I feel close enough to to do sexual things with them too). It’s for when something can’t be said with words or touches or kisses. Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic.
I know that sounds about as clear as mud, but it’s really difficult to explain!
November 17, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Cydni, As one male switch, I believe that most men like to be spanked for some of the same reasons that women find so appealing.
We understand that most women who like to bottom, don’t like to switch as it makes the man less manly in their eyes.
November 17, 2009 at 9:42 pm
That’s pretty close – a natural desire to take, to grab, to think mainly of me, to be selfish, to be ego centric…..all genetically programmed by-products of the hunter gatherer…..its been like that since we lived in caves, it was necessary then for the survival of the species, now it just makes us painful to live with….keeping the ego under control, curbing selfishness, being taken down a peg or two…yes, surrendering control…it all makes us much easier to have around the house.
I’ve been getting spanked for a number of years now; I’m not a “submissive” in the frilly apron sense, just a normal guy who gets his pants taken down when he is inconiderate, rude, selfish..you get the idea…and is better for it.
R
November 17, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Thanks, guys, for taking the time to comment. Very interesting indeed!
November 18, 2009 at 4:29 am
Thanks for asking them, it was nice to hear their opinions. I wonder how many women feel that way and submit to more just to get those feelings? That maybe women make more of it to get to the nitty-gritty. And, taking a couple of those comments into consideration,,,you wonder why more couples don’t initiate more of a dual discipline arrangement.
November 18, 2009 at 4:34 am
Yes, I found the comments from the men rather interesting. I think its true, though, that some women would look down on a man, ie he wouldn’t be a “man” anymore…
Just a thought.
November 19, 2009 at 3:06 am
I’ve been in a female led DD relationship for several years now. Like Recidavist, I’m not a submissive in the wearing her panties to work sense, but I do submit to spankings when she thinks my behavior merits it. I initiated this relationship. I needed it. Not the spanking, but the giving up of control. I’m in a career in which I spend my days trying to control other people. There is usually a constructive purpose behind it, but it’s still about exercising control. Responsibility gets taxing. For my wife and I, it’s also about balance. She is too yin. I am way too much yang. Her spanking brings me back to a center, where I can be at peace, where I’m not the one exercising control. By spanking me, she takes control over her world. A kind of direct, commanding control that many women never get to feel.
Reece
November 19, 2009 at 3:44 am
A very insightful reply. Thanks for sharing!