Her Secret Corner… Spanking Erotica

I have long held the belief that dominance and control are the same thing.  For the last few days, I’ve been considering the idea that maybe they’re not.

My ex-husband was extremely controlling– not a good thing.  I’m not saying he’s a bad guy; but he does have issues which to this day remain unresolved.  His brand of dominance was not appealing.

Another man who held prominence in my life had a controlling side, but he was much more subtle about it.  He was never outwardly controlling in a jealous, possessive way.

He got away with much more (with me) than my husband ever did.  But although I knew he cared for me, and we came close to marriage, there was always somewhat of a distance between us.  I came to crave a bit of jealousy, some sign that I mattered.  Part of me wanted him to say, “No, you’re not doing that…” because in those days, I did things I would never even think of doing now.  There was a small space inside of me longing for… what, exactly?

I’m not sure how to put the feeling into words. 

I was raised in a home that purported to believe certain things, but rarely lived by them.

My father–although I love him– is not a man I always respect.  Now, lest that sounds harsh, or horrible, let me just say– you reap what you sow.  (Can we say alcohol, anyone?)

My mother was a strong woman in many ways; intelligent, stubborn, at times gutsy.  She and my dad clashed and should have called it quits long before they did.  The sad thing is, had they worked together, they could have had an incredible life.

I’ve heard my father say countless times, “Your mother is the only woman I ever loved, but she wanted to be the boss.  I’m the man– I’m the boss.”

Well guys, if this is your stance with women and this is how you feel– fair enough.

But– you damn well better earn it.  That’s all I’m sayin’…

My father never did.  And I think that’s why I’ve always had so much trouble with the concept of “submission.”

God gave me a brain, common sense, certain abilities in life… why do I have to “submit” to a man?

Well, obviously in today’s world, I don’t.  It’s a choice and I can admit to finding strong men sexy.  Power is an aphrodisiac, to some extent.

My friends and I often talk about how we like men who are together, who know who they are and are comfortable in their own skin.  There is something sexy about a man who can take control without being arrogant.  Strong men tend to have a certain spark in their eye… and that is hot.

There are other things my friends and I don’t talk about.  In the season two finale of Grey’s Anatomy, the scene between Meredith and Derek caused quite a controversy.  It actually had to be cut extensively before it was allowed to play.  In an interview Patrick Dempsey laughingly stated it was like shooting a porno: “Where do the panties drop?”

For weeks, men on message boards were asking, “Do women really like having their hair pulled?!!”

If you do it like Patrick did in that scene– the answer is yes!

I’m coming to think that submission between a man and a woman can be a great gift to both.  It takes a tremendous amount of trust on a woman’s part, and it’s a great responsibility for the man.  But for a guy who really wants this element in a relationship, I’m assuming the weight of that responsibility is worth it.

And for a woman, finding a man who is trustworthy… well, that is pure gold.

I only have a moment today– rushing to get out the door.  But I actually have several posts started, and hope to finish some soon.

I couldn’t resist copying this picture from Carly’s blog  (BrambleBerry Blush) because this is what I’m talking about! 

This photo is the essence of all that is erotic to me.  There are not words to describe what this picture does to my psyche… but I’m sure you can use your imagination. 

All the elements are here: the man appears to be in a button down shirt, always a plus for me; the woman is obviously sexy, and although I’m not a big fan of the whole garter/hose thing as I think it’s way over used and usually sleazy, here it works.

Add to the fact that there is some serious color in her cheeks…

Hello, hello, hello!

I’ve been a naughty girl… I haven’t had time (or just haven’t made time) to post lately.  I started a new position Nov. 1, and spent the entire month in training.  Now as of Dec. 1, I’m out on my own, and feeling completely lost!

Oh well, I’m guessing that I’ll be learning by trial and error… fortunately, this is the type of job that can support that.

What I did learn last month was something interesting about myself.  I learned that I’m not so good at commitment.  I used to be good at it, but… well, times change.

I’ve gotten really used to calling my own shots in life.  The job I’ve been in for several years (and am still doing in conjunction with the new one) gives me an insane amount of freedom and flexibility.  It was very hard for me last month, trying to work around another person’s schedule.  Some things in life just can’t be anticipated; for example, traffic, or a lack of parking, or shipments that don’t show up on time…

Well, all this is very mundane, but it made me look seriously at the other areas of my life. 

Dating, for example.

So now I’m thinking that maybe I can do a spanking relationship, because I’m not so sure I’m equipped for any other.  Seriously, do I want to worry over whether dinner is ready on time?  Or if the laundry is done, when other things are calling for attention?  Or wonder whether he’ll mind if I bring the stray kitten home?

My new boss is a sweetheart, which I already knew, because I’ve worked with he and his wife for the last few years, in a different capacity.  But I can say with all honesty, riding with him everyday began to drive me crazy!  It made me think about the reality of relationships and all they entail.

Well, I’m adrift at the moment, but still holding out hope!

I’ve included these images simply because I love them and this is what I’m dreaming of!

Cheers to all, and happy holidays!

Cydni