Her Secret Corner… Spanking Erotica

While visiting an account this past week, I had to laugh at one of the employees.

Sitting in the staff lounge on her break, she was engrossed in a copy of “Why Men Love Bitches.”

I chuckled as I asked, “Seriously?”

Seriously.

Always one to love researching, I checked out Amazon when I got home.   I wasn’t necessarily looking for information on the book itself– I was looking for reviews.

(Bitch, by the way, stands for:  Babe In Total Control of Herself.)

Women love this book, but surprisingly, so do a lot of men.

Well, maybe not love.   But there are a lot of reviews posted by men who say the advise is right on…

And how did the author get this information, anyway?!

Evidently she interviewed many men, and there was a common theme among the majority of them.

The idea basically (for those of you who haven’t read the book) is that most men today want women who are independent, self-sufficient, not overly needy– and won’t put up with any bull.   And won’t always let him have the upper hand.

One common complaint that was sited frequently had to do with women who want commitment– and any guy will do.

So…   I can’t help but wonder how all this equates in the spanking world.   I know for a lot of men, spanking is purely sexual.   As it is for many women.

But there are a whole lot of you out there with dominate personalities, looking for a submissive woman.

How does this jive?   Can a woman be all of the above mentioned things, and truly submissive at the same time?

I’m intrigued, guys…   I’d really love feedback on this one.

I personally have always been independent.   The concept of true submission has always played a tug-of-war within me.

Male opinions would be most welcome here!

Evidently thin apartment walls are an issue for many of us.

Perusing forums and message boards brings some enlightening– and very creative– solutions.

The top choice seems to be a tree switch.   Quiet, and definitely effective for discipline.

The number two choice seems to be a close tie between a mini-cane and the Loopy Johnny.

Creative– a plastic rod off a mini-blind.   (I will admit to being spanked with one of those, once, many years ago.   Very ouchy!)   And sojourning to a walk-in closet.   Cramped, but effective!

Feeling vulnerable is never easy.  Intimate situations test us to our core at times.

Certain scenarios are more difficult for some of us.

To J:

Thank you for being sweet.  And gentle.  And gentlemanly.  Your efforts and patience are appreciated.

And rest assured, my shyness is dissipating daily.  The awkwardness I would have expected to feel was absent, and for that, I say thank you.

While browsing in a bookstore yesterday, I saw a book titled, “Dating Makes You Want to Die– But You Have to Do it Anyway!”

I got a good chuckle out of it, I must say…

There are definitely times when dating is frustrating, but worthy of death?!

Mmm… Don’t think so!

This one is for the ladies– a question posed by a curious male:

Is there a different psychological feeling, depending on where your panties happen to be during a spanking?

Once, on a forum, I read an account posted by a young woman who had married a much older man.   Frankly, some of the situations she related disturbed me;  I had to remind myself to be impartial.   She was, after all, an adult.

One thing she shared stayed with me.   She recounted how her husband seemed to know that having her panties down, but not off, made the experience worse.   For her, it made her feel like a child being punished.

There is a certain vulnerability ( and for many) a rush of arousal, as they come down.    But do you feel more exposed having them at your knees, as opposed to just below the cheeks?   The opposite?   Or is it worse having them off completely?

What about standing in the corner with your bottom on display, and panties bunched at your ankles?   What are the emotions that come into play?

Submissiveness and vulnerability are probably a given for most.   But do some find these scenarios humiliating?   Too much at times?

The exact opposite?   Erotic?   Scintillating?   Arousing?

Special thanks to Cultivated Discipline for informing me of Plenty Of Fish.

This is a rather interesting vanilla dating site.   Before signing up, you fill out a psychological survey, designed to discern what you think you want in a mate, from what you really want.

I took the time to take the psych test.   I was surprised .   I expected to learn that what I thought I wanted was way off from what I actually want.  In reality, it seems I’ve come to know myself rather well.

Maybe the last decade of reflection has somewhat paid off…

For every reader who enjoys my blog but is too shy to post a comment, this is for you:

Every year, Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts hosts “Love our lurkers” day.  The idea is to invite all of you lurkers to say hello.

So how about it?  I know from my blog stats, there are a lot of people reading here regularly.  I’d love to hear from some of you!

Women quite often lament the lack of quality DD videos available.

I’ve written on the subject before, and many of us ladies have discussed this on various forums.

Recently I was asked what makes a good DD movie for a woman.

I didn’t hesitate with my answer.

No overt sex.   Tenderness mixed with sternness.   A couple who appear to be around the same age– thirties or forties works best.   Clean cut.

Most spanking videos are geared toward men– schoolgirl scenes, or super slutty.   Or the absolute worst– a portly “grandpa” type spanking a naked teenager, who looks like she’s a day over legal.   And what I really hate:   A woman who is naked save her thigh-highs.   Or worse, just her top is off.   One producer of spanking movies uses this scenario frequently.

I like a small bit of reality with my fantasies.   The more the woman on screen is like me, the more I can pretend she is me.   After all, it’s all about the fantasy.

The quest to find videos that women will enjoy often comes up short.   Spanking Tube has some clips that are passable; a handful that are tasteful; the majority are pure smut, and not to my taste.

Some of the best DD videos I’ve seen are posted by Cali Cutie Spankings.   This is a real husband and wife, presumably living a real DD marriage.

Cali (Katerina) takes some pretty severe punishments at times, so fair warning.   Many of the clips posted are not for the faint-of-heart.   But some are down-right funny, and some venture toward silly.   Her husband, with his thick accent and no-nonsense demeanor, is stern, yet loving at the end of all her discipline sessions.

I’ve read Cali’s blog, and many of her replies to fellow spankos.   She seems happy in her relationship with her husband, and a genuine spanking enthusiast, so I feel comfortable suggesting their videos.

They even made a video per my request!

All I’ll say is, it involves switches… and Cali is crying real tears by the end!

It’s difficult being single and harboring a fetish some would be shocked at.

I was out in the field last week and an attractive man approached my table.  He made small talk, and I’m old enough to read the signs– there was interest there.

This man was handsome, well dressed, around the right age.    Add in polite, nicely spoken, and quick-witted.

So what did I do?

Uh…  I left the area as soon as I could and avoided him until he was gone!

I know, silly, silly me!   And this is not the first time I’ve behaved this way.

I’ve blogged on numerous occasions about wanting to find a partner.

But its important to me, at this point in my life, to find a like-minded partner.  A vanilla man just won’t do.

So what’s a girl to do?!

I don’t know…  But I do wish I could convince myself to stop running away!

Shyness really is part of the problem.   The desire for spanking in a relationship is certainly part of the problem– I don’t want to deal with coming out to someone who might be shocked at my admission.

But there are other, deeper issues at play.

Several times I’ve alluded to having some health issues.   Many of you have written to me asking what is wrong.

I don’t mind sharing; I just don’t want to make it a focal point.

I have MS.

Scary at times?   Certainly.

Frustrating?   Most definitely.

But it’s not as scary as it would have been had I been diagnosed ten or twenty years ago.   There is much hope on the horizon today.

Still, I had avoided dating for sometime, because I was ambivalent about getting involved with someone, knowing the future could be uncertain.

While in Italy last spring, the friend I traveled with gave me quite the talking to one night.

“You don’t value yourself enough.”

“The future is uncertain for all of us– there are no guarantees.”

“You’re making excuses because you’re afraid– not all men are alike.”

Now, these statements coming from a man were rather eye-opening.

Another friend told me I’m going about things all wrong.   I need to change my mindset.   “Find a guy with the ‘White Knight’ syndrome…   Some men just want to be that.   Makes ‘em feel big and strong…”

Hmmm…

Somehow I don’t think I could handle the “White Knight” mentality, but I will concede my other friend had some valid points.

I haven’t always valued myself enough and I have been making excuses.   And yes, the future is uncertain for all of us.   There are no guarantees.

So, where is Mr. Right?   Where to look for him?

Most of us would agree the internet has opened up a whole new world.   But vanilla dating sites like Match or E-Harmony are not likely to bring the match we seek.

There are some dating sites dedicated to the spanking world, but the selection seems to be rather slim.   And frankly, most of the men who post profiles seem to be looking for casual encounters.

I have used Craig’s List in the past– and before I hear a collective “Ew!– let me just say, I’ve met a few nice men.   Even thought one or two might develop into something.

It’s always disappointing when you reach the conclusion that things are not going to move forward.   And it makes it that much harder to put yourself out there again.

Attraction between two people is an elusive thing to find, in the best of circumstances.   That spark seems to ignite so infrequently in one lifetime.   Add into the mix a few oddities…

Sigh.

I think the spanking community should develop some sort of symbol we could all wear, in order to recognize one another.

Or come up with a secret handshake…

Either could make dating life so much easier!

“Are you due a spanking?”

Not an easy question to honestly answer.

What is it, exactly, about spanking that is such a trigger point for me, and so many others like me?

Do I feel I’ve earned a spanking?   Or that I deserve to be punished?

For the most part, I’d say,  “Not really.”

I live a pretty clean life.

I watch my speed when driving.   My livelihood depends on my car, and I drive long distances.   Just makes sense to be careful.

I rarely swear– to me, it’s not an attractive thing for a woman to do.

I try not to lie, save the occasional “white” lie designed to spare someone’s feelings.

Don’t steal…   Generally not confrontational or bitchy…   Don’t smoke or do drugs…   PMS isn’t much of an issue…   Pay my bills on time…   Don’t sleep around…

What, then?

Well…

I do tend to procrastinate.   Run late from time to time.   Don’t always eat the way I know I should.   (And I work in the health food industry!)

Focus can be an issue.   I change my schedule way too much, and end up stressing out at the end of the month…

Do I want someone to discipline me for these things?

I’m not sure how comfortable I am with that concept, but I do want the cleansing, cathartic release that only a good spanking can provide.

And after a lifetime of always having to be in control, I’m craving the surrender of giving up control.

Am I due a spanking?

Uh huh…