Her Secret Corner… Spanking Erotica

My nephew is in prison right now.

Not exactly the place you envision an adorable baby ending up, during the times you’re feeding him a bottle or changing his nappies.

But, he made bad choices, took the wrong road, and this is where he has ended up.   Being that the holidays are here, I wrote him a long, heartfelt letter– crying the entire time.

I assured him that he’s young, and this doesn’t have to be the defining moment in his life.   In two years the decisions are again his to make.   I also assured him of the love that surrounds him, as well as throwing out a little “tough” love…

“Grandma would be heartbroken if she could see you now…  Love is a gift… Realize what you really have…”

Since it’s the holidays, I’m feeling a little reflective.   Missing my mom.   Thinking about my niece.   Missing her, too.   Thinking about love and all it entails.

This year, counting my nephew, there will be three missing at the family table.

So much loss makes a person think.   Love is a gift.   If you are lucky enough to have an abundance of it in your life– cherish it.   It’s not always easy to find.

If you are part of a couple who practices this lifestyle, cherish that as well.   For it is definitely not easy to find, or replace if its lost.

My hope for all of you this holiday season is that you have safety, security and stability in your lives.   And spankings, of course!

Lots and lots of spankings…

Happy Holidays!

Emotions are complex.   Risk taking is how our spirits grow, but taking those risks can be dangerous.

Trying to put feelings into words can be a challenge as well.

How do you say, “My heart is fragile,  please treat it carefully…”

Giving trust is always a gamble.   One can only hope that the person we give our trust to is worthy of it.

Sometimes we choose unwisely.   Spanking is very intimate for some of us.   After keeping boundaries so tightly closed, the last thing anyone needs, when they finally feel safe enough to loosen them, is to have that experience and then be made to feel like nothing of consequence.

A piece of the soul gets chipped away.   The desire to trust wanes.

For those of you who top, please take this post to heart.   Be careful of the things you say, the scenarios you present.   Remember that “this thing we do” is rarely just about the physical.   Emotions almost always come into play.

And many bottoms… are fragile.   No matter how strong we try to appear.

I actually started writing this post a few months ago, but had trouble putting the words together.    I also didn’t really know if I wanted to lay my soul quite so bare as required to answer the question that was posed.   After a considerable amount of pondering– and typing and retyping– I’ve finally been able to finish.

During a conversation, I was asked my thoughts on submission.

It was easy enough to give a description of my idea of female submission in a committed relationship, referring to everyday life.

Not the question in mind.

Submission in a sexual/spanking context.

I find that much harder to define.

I’m a word-smith.   I love the play of words on a page; I love to see ideas form and take shape, until they come together and hopefully move someone, in some way.

Trying to form this definition is one of the few times words have alluded me.   I’ve given considerable thought to my answer, but I’m still having trouble coming up with one.

Maybe the mental block comes from embarrassment.   It’s never easy to lay your soul bare, and for someone as reserved as I am, that difficulty is compounded.

But…

I am a word-smith, and pride prevails!   So, here goes:

In a spanking context, I want to be spanked to tears, by a man I trust.

Mind you– trust has to be earned.   It is not just given.   And when it is given, it is a gift.

I don’t want to decide which implement, or how many swats.   I don’t want to decide when “enough” is enough.   I want the man in question to be astute and suitably in tune to make those judgment calls.

I want my limits pushed.   When my hand flies back to cover my throbbing cheek, I want it pinned to the small of my back.   When I squirm, I want to be held in place.   When I beg him to stop, I want a few more spanks, because he knows I need more.

When I cry, I want him to soothe me while assuring me he knows it hurts…   As he informs me that in order for it to do any good, it needs to hurt.   And I want him to continue the spanking.

When the spanking is completed to his satisfaction, I want to be held on his lap.   Because there is nothing quite like sitting on a guy’s lap.    And I want to be kissed.   And coddled, just a little.

Sex…

Much more difficult to define.   Maybe I need to be led somewhat.   Maybe that is part of what I’m searching for, in my quest to find a strong man.

Bondage does nothing for me.   I have no desire to be tied spread-eagle to a bed, or anything else.   But there is a scenario I’ve used in my writing, involving a man’s neck tie and bound wrists…

If I allow my mind to go deep into this scene, I can almost feel the body-heat permeating from the cloth as it is wrapped securely against my skin.   I can see his movements as he reaches up and removes the tie, the look of determination in his eyes, the resolve as the material is knotted snugly around my fragile bones.

Being held down during sex is not PC to talk about, but it’s a pretty common fantasy for many women.   Arms stretched over-head, hands held securely…

Hair pulling I’ve covered more than once, but it bears repeating.   Fingers fisted at the scalp, while being kissed deeply…

All of these things add up to submission to me.   Maybe they are not everyone’s idea of submission, but they are as deep as I am currently able to go.

Am I capable of going deeper?

Possibly.   With the right guy.   And some gentle but firm leading.

*Before I get loads of e-mails on this one– yes, I know a safeword is a necessity.    Keep in mind the fantasy realm, and the emphasis I put on trust.  

Thanks,

Cydni

I’m wondering about the differences in head-space, between male and female submissives.

I think the majority of people reading here are female subsmissives and male dominates.   But there are a lot of straight men out there wanting to be spanked.

Not my thing.    But still, I wonder what drives these guys.

Most women want spanking in their lives for specific reasons.   There are some that simply find it a turn-on.   Bedroom games are all they’re  after.  But most have deeper reasons driving them.

I’ve read extensively on various forums, and the majority of ladies involved in DD relationships submit for the feeling of security it offers.   They feel protected, and although some might argue its an odd dichotomy,  they feel cared for.   For some, it is the only time they feel they have their husbands undivided attention.   It makes them feel they are a priority.

For some women, the feeling of helplessness makes them feel feminine.   Others like feeling their husband is in control.

So what is it for a guy?

Is it simply pressure release?  Do men need to give up control at times, too?

I’ve always thought it had something to do with being high-powered, and needing to throw off that power, however briefly.

It would be interesting to hear what others have to say on this…

While visiting an account this past week, I had to laugh at one of the employees.

Sitting in the staff lounge on her break, she was engrossed in a copy of “Why Men Love Bitches.”

I chuckled as I asked, “Seriously?”

Seriously.

Always one to love researching, I checked out Amazon when I got home.   I wasn’t necessarily looking for information on the book itself– I was looking for reviews.

(Bitch, by the way, stands for:  Babe In Total Control of Herself.)

Women love this book, but surprisingly, so do a lot of men.

Well, maybe not love.   But there are a lot of reviews posted by men who say the advise is right on…

And how did the author get this information, anyway?!

Evidently she interviewed many men, and there was a common theme among the majority of them.

The idea basically (for those of you who haven’t read the book) is that most men today want women who are independent, self-sufficient, not overly needy– and won’t put up with any bull.   And won’t always let him have the upper hand.

One common complaint that was sited frequently had to do with women who want commitment– and any guy will do.

So…   I can’t help but wonder how all this equates in the spanking world.   I know for a lot of men, spanking is purely sexual.   As it is for many women.

But there are a whole lot of you out there with dominate personalities, looking for a submissive woman.

How does this jive?   Can a woman be all of the above mentioned things, and truly submissive at the same time?

I’m intrigued, guys…   I’d really love feedback on this one.

I personally have always been independent.   The concept of true submission has always played a tug-of-war within me.

Male opinions would be most welcome here!

Evidently thin apartment walls are an issue for many of us.

Perusing forums and message boards brings some enlightening– and very creative– solutions.

The top choice seems to be a tree switch.   Quiet, and definitely effective for discipline.

The number two choice seems to be a close tie between a mini-cane and the Loopy Johnny.

Creative– a plastic rod off a mini-blind.   (I will admit to being spanked with one of those, once, many years ago.   Very ouchy!)   And sojourning to a walk-in closet.   Cramped, but effective!

Feeling vulnerable is never easy.  Intimate situations test us to our core at times.

Certain scenarios are more difficult for some of us.

To J:

Thank you for being sweet.  And gentle.  And gentlemanly.  Your efforts and patience are appreciated.

And rest assured, my shyness is dissipating daily.  The awkwardness I would have expected to feel was absent, and for that, I say thank you.

While browsing in a bookstore yesterday, I saw a book titled, “Dating Makes You Want to Die– But You Have to Do it Anyway!”

I got a good chuckle out of it, I must say…

There are definitely times when dating is frustrating, but worthy of death?!

Mmm… Don’t think so!

This one is for the ladies– a question posed by a curious male:

Is there a different psychological feeling, depending on where your panties happen to be during a spanking?

Once, on a forum, I read an account posted by a young woman who had married a much older man.   Frankly, some of the situations she related disturbed me;  I had to remind myself to be impartial.   She was, after all, an adult.

One thing she shared stayed with me.   She recounted how her husband seemed to know that having her panties down, but not off, made the experience worse.   For her, it made her feel like a child being punished.

There is a certain vulnerability ( and for many) a rush of arousal, as they come down.    But do you feel more exposed having them at your knees, as opposed to just below the cheeks?   The opposite?   Or is it worse having them off completely?

What about standing in the corner with your bottom on display, and panties bunched at your ankles?   What are the emotions that come into play?

Submissiveness and vulnerability are probably a given for most.   But do some find these scenarios humiliating?   Too much at times?

The exact opposite?   Erotic?   Scintillating?   Arousing?

Special thanks to Cultivated Discipline for informing me of Plenty Of Fish.

This is a rather interesting vanilla dating site.   Before signing up, you fill out a psychological survey, designed to discern what you think you want in a mate, from what you really want.

I took the time to take the psych test.   I was surprised .   I expected to learn that what I thought I wanted was way off from what I actually want.  In reality, it seems I’ve come to know myself rather well.

Maybe the last decade of reflection has somewhat paid off…